The Songs
by HummingMe
Summary: This is a story of Lights life:  from falling in-love to dying.   LXLight   Pleas R&R   Okay, I changed the summary
1. Chapter 1: F F F Falling

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note or any of the songs used in this Fanfic.

**A/N:** All songs are by The Rasmus. This is a SongFic. Yaoi, LXLight.

All italized words are lyrics of the song.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>Song 1:<p>

F-F-F-Falling

Light Yagami is his full name. He has a father, a mother and a younger sister. He is handsome and unquestionably smart. He used to be a goody-goody boy, but now, he is nearing 17 and he's bored as hell. So…

'_I don't go to school every Monday,_

_I've got my reasons to sleep_

_Don't you tell me how I should be.'_

Light's mother, as usual, greeted him with a smile when he came home. "So, where is it?" his mother asked.

"ah.. right. The results." He just got the results of the final exams. "Ha-ha. Top scorer, as always. Good job, Raito-kun." his mother praised him. "Uhm, is there anything you want, perhaps?"

"No, mother." Light replied. He thought, 'I want a lover.' But that would be too awkward to say to his mother. Besides, if he were to say that, his mother would just reply, 'but Raito-kun, aren't you popular with the girls? Why don't you try dating them.'

Light isn't satisfied with girls. He thinks they just like him because of his looks and intelligence. They are too shallow for him. And add the fact that _he_ wants males…

One afternoon, when Light was out for a walk, he noticed that the leaves are white, sakuras are flying everywhere, and trees are bright pink. It was winter. He will be 17 soon. And all he wants for his birthday is a lover, a male lover.

While thinking about this, he saw silhouette of a man with a bad posture and it looks like he was sucking his thumb. He just ignored him.

Light Yagami is 17.

His birthday passed and he still doesn't have a lover.

While he was seating on a bench, he saw a falling black notebook. He followed it fall with his eyes and saw it land on his feet. He picked it up. "Death…Note?"

He laughed. "Ha-ha. What the hell is this?" That was his first impression. A month later, he was using it like crazy. Another week had passed, Ryuk came into his life. (You know the story)

One day…

"This is Lind L. Taylor, or more popularly known as L. (blah, blah, blah) I will hunt you down Kira. I will send you your death," Taylor ended his speech. After a short while, he died. Cause: Heart attack.

"No, L, I sent you your death. Whoever goes against me will die." After a short while, an electronic voice spoke. "Kira, the one you killed was a convict whose death sentence is today. Thus, me, the real l, is still alive. Now, kill me! Kill me! … I guess you can't. Thanks for the tip. (blah, blah, blah)"

That was how Light met L.

After some time, when Shiori died, Light forced his father to join the Kira investigation. He said that he must avenge Shiori. Though, truth be told, he killed Shiori himself.

When the Kira Investigation team saw l, they couldn't believe their eyes. L is 24. He has a bad posture, he has his thumb on his lips, and he wore jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt.

Later, Light meets L. He was supposed to hate him for L is his biggest hindrance, but soon as he sees him, his heart beat faster. 'Could he be the one I'm waiting for?' Light thought.

'_I've made up my mind about the music,_

_I've made up my mind about the style,_

_I know that I'm stable and able to settle down, but I keep_

_F-F-F-Falling_

_Down with the sun.'_

L had put on surveillance cameras around the Yagami household. This was a problem for Light. But now that he met L, whenever he thought about it, he would rather blush on the thought of 'L was watching me' than get furious that he did that.

L, every now and then, tells Light that, even with a 1% chance of suspicion, he thinks that he is Kira. Light gets nervous, deep inside, because he is Kira and he is there to prove he is not what he is. So he thought,

'_I can't give it up,_

_The night is calling me like a drum, _

_I keep on, f-f-f-falling.'_

There was a time that L decided to chain him and Light together. Light thought that it's not a problem since he already prepared for circumstances like this. So the only thing that was running on his mind was L. 'Does this mean, he is with me in everything I do?' He blushes and felt chilly (in a romantic way).

So, technically, they were sleeping in the same bed. Light stared at L's sleeping face. He didn't notice it but his gaze was slowly going down, from his face down to his chest and still further down.

'_This life is so full of temptation,_

_And I want to keep it that way.'_

After a while of lustrous gazing, Light noticed that L woke up. "Aren't you sleepy, Light-kun?"

"N-no." Light managed to say. "Well, what can I do to make you sleepy?" L asked. "Why?" "I wanted to stare at Light-kun's sleeping face."

~thump, thump…~ "wha-what are you talking about, Ryuuzaki?"

"I like you, Light-kun." L said. 'Damn, this guy is so straight-forward' Light thought. "hah, that's a trap, isn't it, Ryuuzaki?"

L kissed Light to prove that what he said wasn't a trap and is his real feelings. Light would have jumped in joy but he, instead, kept his cool, and acted cool.

'_I know myself I can handle the game.'_

Days passed. Light didn't want l to declare that the chain will be taken off. Because…

'_I made up my mind about the future,_

_I made up my mind about the past.'_

L did proclaim that the chain-surveillance is over. But he still suggested that Light and he would sleep in the same bed. Deep inside, Light really liked the idea. "But, Misa, she's—" Light tried to explain.

"Sshh…" L put his thumb on Light's lips, and then locked his own to a kiss with Light. This was the second time L kissed Light. "O-okay." Light finally agreed.

'_I know that I'm stable and able to hold on, but.'_

L continued kissing Light. Light was drowning inside L's kiss. They reached L's room and slowly, they took of their clothes. "Are we really going to do this, L?" Light asked. "Yes, Light-kun. And you called me L."

'_F-F-F-Falling,_

_Down with the sun,_

_I can't give it up_

_The night is calling me like a drum._

_I keep on f-f-f-falling.'_

It ended quite satisfying for Light. He even thought that it was better than doing it with Misa. "How was it, Light-kun?"L asked. "It was good." Light was lying. It was the best.

L noticed this. It is L after all. L managed to ask Light what he really thought.

'_I need a flame, I need a spark.'_

L almost laughs. 'Don't tell me, Light is insecure?' he thought. L explained that his feelings were sincere.

'_Don't be afraid to open my heart._

'_I need a game, I need a shock.'_

'_Don't be afraid, my heart is unlocked.'_

"Light-kun, please believe me."

'_F-F-F-Falling,_

_Down with the sun,_

_I can't give it up_

_The night is calling me like a drum,_

_I keep on f-f-f-falling.'_

Light kissed L once more, to assure him that he believes. Besides, he just keep on f-f-f-falling.


	2. Chapter 2: Lucifer's Angel

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note or any of the songs used in this Fanfic.

**A/N:** All songs are by The Rasmus. This is a SongFic. Yaoi, LXLight.

All italized words are lyrics of the song. BTW, the plot of this FanFic are quite in different order.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Song 2:<strong>

**Lucifer's Angel**

L concluded that there is a second-Kira. More stupid than the former one. It's just so stupid, L thought that she was easily caught. Yes, they found out that she is a girl.

"Misa, don't follow me around, you stupid. You'll get suspected easily." Light warned Misa as she got out from the electric pole she was hiding from.

'But Misa-misa wants to see Light." She sounded desperate, she was desperate.

Light gave out a sigh. "Alright, but you must be careful." Misa blushed. "So…Light-kun is worried about Misa?"

'No dummy, I'm worried that I'll get caught by your stupidity.' Light thought, but he said, instead, "Whatever."

When he got home, he immediately went to his room and lay on his bed. L's images clouded Light's mind all night.

Meanwhile, Misa still wandered around and enjoyed the stars that she thought were 'floating'. But just later on, Misa was kidnapped.

"Let me go, please! If you do, I'll give you my autograph, Stalker-san." Misa screamed, or rather 'negotiated' while being blind-folded and put in a straight-jacket, when she woke up from the heavy drug they put on her.

"We are not stalkers." L replied with his electronic voice. He let his thoughts fill him on that moment, thoughts that later he would like to share with Misa.

_'Behind those eyes lies the truth and grief,_

_Behind those smiles I've seen tragedy._

_The flawless skin hides the secret within._

_Silent foresees/forces that secretly ignite your sins.' _

"Light-kun! Save me!" Misa couldn't help but need Light's help. "So, Misa-san, you admit that you know Light Yagami." L asked the strapped girl with his fake voice.

"Of course! Light is my boyfriend."

Surprisingly, it surprised L. Maybe that was the thing that Light was supposed to tell him before they had sex.

"Stalker-san, are you still there. Let me out!" That made L remember that he was still doing something. "Y-yes."

"Are you okay, Ryuuzaki? Do you need some rest?" Soichiro asked L. "No, thank you."

Light woke up pass 12. He went down to get something to eat. After that, he went out to get some fresh air, his mind needs some rest. Rest from L. Even in his sleep, he remembered.

But Misa is his girlfriend and he would need her. And it just made him wonder where she had gone to. She stopped calling him. Anyway, he wished she would just leave. But he needs her, she's like Light's angel because angels look harmless to people as Misa look stupid.

'_Fly away; fly away, from the torch of blame,_

_They hunt you, the Lucifer's angel._

_You never lived, you never died, your life has been denied,_

_They call you Lucifer's angel.'_

L watched Misa struggled from the white cloth that strangles her. He watched very closely, making a delicate analysis. An analysis to know how Light would want such girl.

But there was something that sting-ed him inside, he, after all, knows Misa's background.

How her family was killed. And deep inside, deep down, he accepts that she is a Kira supporter. He took a walk with his clown-like mask and looked at the sky.

'_Beyond these clouds you can hide all your tears,_

_Beyond this world you'll be safe from their wicked fears.'_

Light went to a nearby bookstore. He grabbed a thick newspaper and read the headline: "L vs. Kira. Is L the real SAVIOUR?" Light thought something.

'_In their hearts they fear your demands.'_

It made Light chuckled. Even from the beginning, when his power was felt by the people, he thought that people always hide what they really think. For the reason of…what? Common sense? Like the example he made, when the unlikely question "Is killing bad?" popped up, the obvious answer is No. But try clicking buttons on the internet, their real answer reveals itself.

But seeing his love's name in the headline next to his notorious nickname gives him a bit of a chill. He would like it if it was 'X' or ' ' that is in the middle, but it was a 'vs.' instead. He was used to it anyway, and that was how the world sees them.

L made up his mind. After a couple of questions, he decided. This girl is stupid. Not that his habit is judging people, she may have potential…somehow. That's another thing made L feel pity for her.

'_You know their minds won't accept you, you'll never understand.'_

He made another conclusion after that. If Kira needs this girl, then she must possess something that he doesn't have. But what could that be?

'_Fly away; fly away, from the torch of blame,_

_They hunt you, the Lucifer's angel._

_You never lived, you never died, your life has been denied,_

_The call you Lucifer's angel.'_

After weeks of observation, L set Misa free. "Thank goodness! Misa can now see her beloved Light-kun!"

The phrase was heard by the loved and the second lover, and it sure does make an awkward feeling.

L and Light faced each other, and it was clear. Misa is a hindrance to their forming love. It's not that she needs to be gone, but at least the relationship between Light and her would disappear. They thought of the same pitiful thing.

'_On your own, I know you can take it._

_Truth or bone, I know you can shake it._

_Survive alone; I know you can take it,_

_Lucifer's Angel.'_

And, they think that they doubt it.


	3. Chapter 3: In the shadows

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note or any of the songs used in this Fanfic.

**A/N:** All songs are by The Rasmus. This is a SongFic. Yaoi, LXLight.

All italized words are lyrics of the song. BTW, the plot of this FanFic are quite in different order.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Song 3:<strong>

**In the shadows**

As days passed, the percentage of the possibility of Light being Kira increased. Without having evidences, just conclusion and theories, L can't seem to settle down.

'_No sleep, no sleep until I'm done with finding the answer,_

_Won't stop, won't stop until I find the cure for this cancer.'_

"Ryuuzaki…" Light said as he entered L's room and kissed him. "…is everything alright?"

"Yes, my dear Light-kun." He kissed back.

Light ended asleep after he and L had sex, but L was still awake. He is starting to doubt himself if whether he can win the battle between him and Kira. And there was always the thought that Kira may be his lover.

'_Sometimes, I just feel like going down and so disconnected.'_

Light woke up alone. He wondered where L went. He never leaves him when they do it. He found him sitting his chair with his usual posture and habit, staring deeply on the screen.

Light took a peek at what L was watching. It made him blush a little. L was watching the videos of the time their house was secretly under surveillance. And L was focused on Light's videos. But a sudden, horrible, moment-breaking thought got him.

'_Somehow, I know that I am haunted to be wanted.' _

Maybe L is just saying those three romantic words to catch him off-guard.

But no matter what, no matter what, he thought, he still has faith in their love after all, it was what he wanted, a male lover.

'_I've been watching, I've been waiting_

_In the shadows, for my time._

_I've been searching, I've been living,_

_For tomorrow all my life.'_

L was becoming furious with himself. Everything seems to fit perfectly but somehow it always falls apart. Like if you just finished a puzzle and you wanted to show it to your mother, but when you lifted the puzzle board, all the pieces falls.

The case is the puzzle, the world is your mother and the evidence is the glue to prove that you really finished the puzzle. But there was no evidence.

All he needs is either a confession or the knowledge of the medium he uses to kill.

But even if he was successful, it would then crush him down. He wants an evidence to capture Light but he doesn't want it to save his Light.

And another thought crossed his mind. 'Saving Light could be dangerous.' And dangerous can lead to fragile matters for him. It would be as if choosing between his life and Light's.

'_They say, that I must learn kill before I can feel safe. _

_But I rather kill myself that turn into their slave.'_

That was the risk he was willing to do. If he can.

"You know Light-kun, I still have my suspicions on you." L said to Light while cuddling him.

"I know, Ryuuzaki." Light replied. Knowing that fact really hurt him deep inside.

'_Sometimes, I feel that I should go and play with the thunder.'_

Some people would rather die than to endure the pain caused by love.

Light doesn't want to believe that. He has faith in love.

After a week, Soichiro reported six deaths to L.

"Ryuuzaki, this is urgent. We were reported six deaths this morning."

"I understand."

"It was said that three of victims acted strangely before they died."

"Strangely? How?"

"One drew a symbol of some kind using his blood, the other wrote a note, and the last, well it was just weird."

"Could you please send me the pictures?"

"Of course."

L thought he was being mocked. Especially when he read the note. He found out that if you take out the first letter of each line, it would make the sentence: 'L, do you know that shinigamis only eat apples?'

This fact doesn't have anything to do with his and Light's personal relationship.

"This is an experiment by Kira and must not be taken lightly."L announced.

'_Somehow, I just don't wanna stay and wait for a wonder.'_

This battle, between him and Kira seems like to take another fragile step.

This love, between him and Light seems like to take another pain in.

These things, they're just making him crazy. But he mustn't and he won't, he is L after all.

'When can I say that I can stop this?' L thought.

'_I've been watching, I've been waiting_

_In the shadows, for my time._

_I've been searching, I've been living,_

_For tomorrow all my life.'_

Light secretly watched L. His L looked worried. He thought that maybe his experiments made him like that. Without really saying sorry like, 'I'm sorry L if I made things a little hard for you as Kira…', he thought that at least he could do something about it.

Light went towards L and hugged him. "Ryuuzaki, would you be with me tonight?"

"Why? Is there something wrong?" L asked.

"Well, there is." L was surprised.

"What is it then?"

"I miss you." It soothed L a little and he agreed to Light's request.

'Ryuuzaki…" Light started to say before he lets the person next to him sleep,"… is there something bothering you lately? I mean this is the first sex we had all week."

"I knew it, Light-kun, you did this for me."

"Well, I was worried and it's true that I miss you,"

"Thank you."

Light felt a little bit guilt-free. If only he didn't need to do those experiments. L was just taking things more 'cautiously'.

After another more week, L found out that all the FBI agents he asked to send to Japan all died. It is definitely Kira.

L is just caught up in loving his enemy. Whenever he found a hole that leads to evidences, Light's image would just appear in his mind and then he would reconsider this.

It's definitely hard.

'_Lately, I've been walking, walking in circles_

_Watching, waiting for something.'_

In these situations, when everything just seems to be a headache for him, the only thing that he wants is Light's arms wrapped around him.

It's like L is a teenager that is experiencing difficult love, like the ones he read in mangas.

'_Feel me, touch me, heal me,_

_Come take me higher.'_

L must never give up, both on the case and on his love. He must be strong. But deep inside, he knows that only one of those things will win, and this is the hardest thing for him.


	4. Chapter 4: You got it wrong

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note or any of the songs used in this Fanfic.

**A/N:** All songs are by The Rasmus. This is a SongFic. Yaoi, LXLight.

All italized words are lyrics of the song. BTW, the plot of this FanFic are quite in different order.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Song 4:<strong>

**You got it wrong**

The Kira case just got too dangerous. It got too complicated as well. The Japanese Police will leave if L doesn't point out anymore improvements. He got to act. He decided.

Light was sleeping. In his dream he saw a person's silhouette, slouching and his thumbs were on his lips. After a short while, the person's face became clear, it was his beloved L. That time, it was winter and it's almost his 17th birthday. He thought he got his present a little too early.

Light woke up with the sight of L. "Light-kun, your father is looking for you."

"O-okay, thanks." Light went out. "Where is he?"

"Light-kun, I was just joking. I really need to tell you something."

"Ha-ha, is it really that important?"

"Yes." L said with a serious face.

'_When you found me on the street,_

_Did you think you rescued me?_

_Bet you thought without you I would die.'_

"I want to break up with you." L continued.

"Wha-what?" Light said. He was surprised at first but his anger overtook. "What the hell are you talking about, L?"

L was shocked to hear Light say his real name. It was the first time he said it.

"Everything is becoming complicated, Yagami. I can't play with you anymore. But thank you, it was fun."

"That was not a fucking joke, is it?" Light yelled with anger and pain.

"I'm sorry, but no."

'_Like a snake you swallowed me,_

_I took it 'til I couldn't breathe_

_Just to bring your fantasies to life. '_

"Then why did you say you liked me when I didn't even show a hint of my desire for affection?"

"Yagami, it was obvious."

Light just stared at L. He couldn't believe it was happening, the nightmare that he doesn't even dare to dream. Everything was going perfectly, no, their relationship is smooth. But why all of a sudden?

The thought of him being Kira flashed on his mind. Maybe L was just confused because he truly suspects him.

"Maybe the Kira case is just getting on you, maybe you just need to rest." Light tried to persuade L.

"No. I know you understand how I feel. You used me too."

"What?"

'You count on the faithful to get your way,

And to follow your light.'

"But, but I love you, Ryuuzaki! And you said you do too. Then what was those times we've been through?" Light was getting furious yet tears started to flow in his eyes.

"No, you got it wrong."

'_You got it wrong now,_

'_Cause I don't give a fuck_

_I'm not your believer._

_You got it wrong so_

_I guess you're out of luck_

_Your dream just lost a dreamer.'_

Light stormed out of the room. When he got outside, he kicked the nearest trashcan until all of its contents are out.

"Damn you, L! I loved you and you tell me this? Are you that suspicious of me?"

Light Yagami was indeed in-love with L even if he is his enemy. L never realized that it was hard for Light as it his for him.

When Light met L, he started to take his killings lightly. And besides, he couldn't even concentrate that much on his tactics. He almost wrote L's name in his death note, but he noticed just in time to stop himself. L wouldn't die anyway, Light still don't know his full name.

When Light met L, he thought that he became gentler, even with his Shinigami Ryuk.

When Light met L, Light isn't obsessed in becoming the god of the new world (as he says it) that much.

When Light met L, everything just changed, little or much.

So Light was simply heart-broken.

'_You fooled me with your mystery,_

_Preaching peace and charity'_

When Light came back, since the investigation is still not over, L was sleeping. L is just too cute. Is L torturing Light?

L woke up finding Light next to him. He looked at his eyes and it was wet. Light has been crying.

"Light… I thought I made it clear that—"

"Shut up, L. Please, one last time. I can't take it."

"Light…"

'_But I see through your vanity and lies.'_

"It's not true; I didn't use you, L."

"I could no longer pretend that I believe you Light, and you must accept that so pleas—"

Light hugged L so tightly it almost chocked him. "I know that you love me, L."

"No, Yagami."

'_You think you got the best of me,_

_But I will rewrite history,_

_I'll take back my life to your surprise.'_

Light was now convinced that L did not love him, not even once. Light stood up, went out and banged the door close.

He felt that his chest was tightening as if he was having a heart attack. Besides the pain, he felt anger. He was so mad at L that he could rip his head off. But doing that would just hurt him more.

He thought of revenge but it seems it's just not going to work. He just loves L too much.

'_If I could make it as painful as you did_

_I'd be just wasting my time.'_

While he was walking…

"Light-kun!" Misa popped in front of him. He covered his eyes as fast as he could so that Misa won't see him crying. But she did.

"Light-kun, are you crying?"

"No, stupid." But it's obvious that he is, he just remembered what L said. 'No, Light, you got it wrong, I never loved you.'

'_You got it wrong now,_

'_Cause I don't give a fuck_

_I'm not your believer._

_You got it wrong so_

_I guess you're out of luck_

_Your dream just lost a dreamer.'_

Light headed home, his own home. He declared to himself that he would try and forget.

He shut his eyes so tight to block his tears from flowing. He tried so hard to overcome the hell he was feeling. Actually, he thought, it was worse than hell. But there was something on the tip of his mind…

What was L's true objective into making him believe that he loves him?

He didn't really achieve anything, or unless he did, but he didn't tell Light about it.

But if ever there was, what is it?

He felt so bad and hurt that he thought of this.

'_There's a little part of me_

_That would like to see you cry_

_Even just one tear_

_I know it would never dry.'_

Light eventually fell asleep.

Meanwhile, L was curled up in his bed.

L was angry at Light, not because he was persistent, but about this:

'If Light really loves him, then he would notice, somehow, that I am also hurt.'

L said that he didn't love Light, but it was all a lie.


	5. Chapter 5: Justify plus: Ghost of love

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note or any of the songs used in this Fanfic.

**A/N:** All songs are by The Rasmus. This is a SongFic. Yaoi, LXLight.

All italized words are lyrics of the song. BTW, the plot of this FanFic are quite in different order.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Song 5:<strong>

**Justify**

Light wandered into the woods. He doesn't plan on getting lost there or be eaten by wild, viscous animals. He was just there to bury something.

He pulled out his spade and started digging on the moist soil.

"oi, Light, what are you doing?" Ryuk, his shinigami, asked Light.

"When I say discard, it means I'm giving up my ownership on the Death Note." Light answered as he put the death note into the dug soil.

"I can't object, but why?"

"I have a plan."

Meanwhile, L was still sleeping. After a few more hours, he woke up from hearing Light's voice. He went out of his room.

"Oh, Ryuuzaki, you're awake." Soichiro said.

"Yes." L and Light exchanged gazes. Light noticed that L's eyes were sad, but he said to himself that he wouldn't fall for it.

L saw that Light's eyes were angry and hurt. He regretted what he did, but he decided that it was the best.

But it seems that L was lost even more without Light. He can't concentrate that much anymore, even Light's father noticed that.

'_So close, so far, I'm lost in time_

_Ready to follow a sign,_

_If there was only a sign._

_The last goodbye burns in my mind,_

_Why did I leave you behind?_

_Guess it was too high to climb.' _

Light slammed the door close as he entered L's room. It was their room, but now it was L's. He went there to get his things and transfer them to the new room he requested.

Even with all the pain and hatred he was feeling, the question of hope still lingered in his mind.

'_Give me a reason, _

_Why would you want me_

_To live and die,_

_Living a lie.'_

L noticed that Light was carrying his things when he got out of the room.

Loving L was one of the most important reason or purpose of Light's life. It has greater importance than cleaning the world out of criminals. It was the reason to alter his mind into thinking that he is living his life in an evil path.

'_You were the answer,_

_All that I needed to justify,_

_Justify my life.'_

L followed Light into his new room. Light noticed it yet he ignored him. L kept getting closer and closer to Light so he dropped his belongings and faced L.

"What the hell is your problem?"

"I just hate seeing you like that."

'This damn straight-forward stupid guy…' Light thought.

Light really hates it. L said that it was all a lie, the times they were together, and that was the reason he was looking like that. And now, now L said to him that he doesn't like seeing him like that? 'I mean, has he become stupid or something?' Light thought.

"What?" That was all Light could manage to say.

"You know Light, you could make someone else fall in-love with you."

"I don't care. And so what if I can? It doesn't mean I can fall in-love with that someone else." Light angrily replied.

'_Someone as beautiful as you,_

_You could do much better it's true._

_That didn't matter to you.'_

"I just don't want to see you like that." L repeated.

"What am I to you, L?"Light asked.

That was a tough question, especially for L. But he must stand up for the lie he begun.

"You're one of my suspects."L answered with his tongue tied.

"Fuck you." Light turned away and couldn't say anything anymore. He just thought that maybe he wasn't enough for L.

'_I tried so hard to be the one,_

_It's something I couldn't do,_

_Guess I was under the gun.'_

When Light got home, he was shocked to see Sachiko and Sayu having dinner with Misa.

"What are you doing here, Misa?" Light asked.

"Don't be rude, Raito-kun, she came all way here just to see you." His mother said. Light gave out a little sigh since he can't do anything about it, anyway.

Misa followed Light into his room. "Light-kun, do you still love that Ryuuzaki?"

Light was shocked. Did she know what happened between him and L? does she even know they love, no, he loves him? "What do you mean?"

"Come on, Light-kun, I'm stupid but not that stupid not to notice that you are madly in-love with him."

"I'm not in-love with him!" what Misa said triggered Light to remember what L did to him, so he answered with a lie. "Prove it, then." Misa dared Light.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?" Light agreed since he was burning with anger and pain.

"Fuck me, Light-kun." Light was surprised that Misa has 'fuck' in her vocabulary.

Light's mind was blank so he took off his clothes and stripped Misa.

It ended quite shortly but Misa felt satisfied. She soon fell asleep. Light kept awake.

He said to himself that sooner or later, he must let go of Misa and start fresh. He will say the word after all. And once he did, Misa is no longer use for him.

'_It's only right _

_That I should go and find myself_

_Before I go ruin someone else.'_

**Song 5.5:**

**Ghost of love**

While Misa slept beside him sleeping and it was still early to wake up, Light buried himself in his thoughts.

Light had a flashback of his memories, sweet memories of L.

As he was thinking, he put on his earphones and listened to a song.

(Apparently, this song fits perfectly.)

'_I. I am near you, you don't see me_

_Can you feel me, I'm closer than close._

_-Does it hurt? Does it burn?_

_Do you know what you've lost?_

_Are you scared of the dark?_

_*Now that you're gone, all that remains_

_Is the Ghost of love._

_Deep in my mind, I hear the chains,_

_Of the Ghost of love._

_II. You are falling, down underneath_

_You'll be crawling, lower than low._

_-Can you sleep? Can you breathe?_

_When you know what you've done?_

_Tell me where will you run?_

_(Repeat *)_

_-You were flawless, cruel and thoughtless_

_And all that you left of me_

_Is the Ghost of love._

_-I'm fading, I'm barely breathing_

_Can't hold on_

_I'm dying, I must be bleeding_

_Won't be long._

_(Repeat *)_

After the song, Light pulled out his earphones. Besides the fact that it was exactly how he was feeling, but could L really have been hurt by what he did, too?

If he is, then maybe Light would have a chance back into L's heart, but it was another painful risk. Another damn painful risk.

The possibility of saying 'Discard' would erase his memory of his love for L came into Light's mind, but before he can even convince himself that it was possible, Light took a glimpse of Misa. She's a living proof that it won't work. She'd given up her Death Note once, and now, she still acts like he's stalker.

Light gave out a long-drawn sigh.


	6. Chapter 6: Funeral Song

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note or any of the songs used in this Fanfic.

**A/N:** All songs are by The Rasmus. This is a SongFic. Yaoi, LXLight.

All italized words are lyrics of the song. BTW, the plot of this FanFic are quite in different order.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p><strong>Song 6:<strong>

**Funeral song**

Light headed for the investigation building first thing after he woke up, leaving Misa behind.

He was motivated and enthusiastic to see L and make things clear. When Light got in the building lobby, he saw L talking to a girl. He would ask Ryuk who she was but before that happens; he noticed that the girl glanced over him.

They nodded as they ended the conversation. L, then, walked towards Light.

"Who is she?" Light asked. "Her name is Naomi, a former FBI agent."

'Is it okay giving that kind of information?' Light thought. "What business does she have here?"

"Those are none of your business."L said mockingly.

Light got a little bit pissed, but he was there to make up with L. Because no matter what he does, he still can't forget L.

"Uhm… L, can I talk to you?"

"If it's important, then of course."

'This is important, L!' Light thought.

Light told l that he could not pretend anymore. He could no longer be apart of his L.

Light grabbed L's hair and pushed his head until his lips touch his. Light could sense that L is melting into the kiss.

When they got into L's room, still kissing each other.

"Light-kun..."

After that, even without intimate word being said, they started sleeping together again.

But Light still have his doubts whether he and L are okay.

"Light-kun…I'm sorry, I lied. I loved you and still love you." L said as he cuddled.

"How can I be sure you're not lying this time, L?"

"Oh, I'm saying the truth. Don't my kisses show enough truth?"

Light was convinced because since the beginning L's kisses showed more than enough truth.

It seems that they are back together.

"Ryuzaki… I have bad news for you." Soichiro said.

"What is it, Yagami-san?"

"Naoimi is dead."

L took his time in his thoughts. He talked to Watari about this. L was devastated. He made a mistake. He shouldn't be back with Light. It would just hurt him and Light more. But it was the same for him, he can't pretend anymore.

L watched his sleeping Light and felt hurt by it. He doesn't want to never see this innocent face.

L kissed Light to wake him up. "I'll be going now, there's a cake in the table." L said.

"Thank you."

Light went over the table when L left. On top of the cake, there was a frosting that said: 'I'm sorry.' Light found a letter beside it.

Dear Light-kun,

I'm sorry but we must never do this again. I've had fun and I have loved you but we must stop. I chose the side of justice. I know you understand the situation; you're a smart guy after all.

L.

Light threw the letter on the floor. Light smashed the cake with his hand and he kicked the door util it made a little crack.

L noticed that Light had already read the letter. He stopped himself from crying just in time Matsuda faced him.

'_I dumped you again, I don't understand._

_It's happened before, Can't take it no more._

_These foolish games, always end up in confusion._

_I'll take you back, just to leave you once again.'_

Light went home that day and throughout the day, he never looked at L. L was hurt because he was expecting Light to understand. But he guessed that Light must've been more hurt by this.

Light fantasized that he was caught by L and Ryuk wrote his name in his Death Note. L imagined what L would look like when he saw him dying. Would he cry or would he laugh? Light drew out images of L being with some other guy that he didn't hurt.

Light thought, 'Why L? Why my enemy? Why did my heart chose him?'

'_I died in my dreams,_

_What's that supposed to mean?_

_Got lost in the fire._

_I died in my dreams,_

_Reaching out for your hand,_

_My fatal desire.' _

Light couldn't run away forever. He must face L because he have to. Because they are working together.

"Ruzaki, what were the reports yesterday, sorry if I left early." Light said.

"Why don't you ask your father?"

"Apparently, they are all sleeping."

This made L's heart beat faster. Its as if he and Light are the only ones in the room. The next thing he knew, Light's face was so close to him that he could feel his breath on his lips.

"Light…what—"

Before L could finish what he was trying to say, Light kissed him.

"I know, just one last kiss."

"Light… you shouldn't have done that."

L continued to kiss Light until he noticed they were naked. He hasn't put it in yet but he felt pleasure already. Before they could attach any longer, Light pushed l so he can back off.

"Light-kun, for the last time. Please."

"you should thank that you look cute and hot at the same time." Light said as he came back on top of L.

They always have the best times when they're together. They were inseparable. The only things that can separate them is themselves.

After they ended it, Light fell asleep. It was the most exhausting sex they'd ever done.

L stayed awake with his thoughts.

'_I failed you again, 'cause I let you stay._

_I used to pretend that I felt okay._

_Just one big lie, such perfect illusion._

_I made you mine, just to hurt you once again.'_

L slept.

The next morning, L woke up finding Light gone. He suspected that he left a note or something to tell where he go, but to think about it, it will be the last time they will do it.

L's dream had an after taste. A taste that he would never want to taste again.

'_I died in my dreams,_

_What's that supposed to mean?_

_Got lost in the fire._

_I died in my dreams,_

_Reaching out for your hand,_

_My fatal desire._

Light told the word. "Discard."

"Light, are you sure? You know that giving the ownership up is not gonna take the pain away."

"Shut up and just leave!"

"That hurt." Ryuk said. "But still, you said it. Bye, Light Yagami. At least I had fun." Ryuk disappeared with his Death Note.

With his memory gone, Light fainted.

When he woke up, he smelled a smell that was familiar to him. A smell that he loves. He saw L sitting in a chair besides him and the Japanese Kira Investigation team was around him with their faces worried.

"What are you guys doing?" Light asked, really confused.

"What are you talking about? We found you in a forest! You were unconscious!" His father told him.

"What? What am I doing there?"

"Can you please leave us a moment." L demanded and the team did so.

Light just looked at the ceiling and never put a gaze on L. Something told him that he would never forget that he loves l, but he couldn't remember who told him that or why.

"Are you okay?" L asked.

"I am now, I guess."

"Are you still mad, Light-KUN?"

"Oh, don't use your cute callings on me, Ryuuzaki. It's more painful."

L leaned down to kiss Light.

"L… no…" Light shed a tear.

"It made me worried, Light-kun."L said, with his share of tears.

He explained that he was sorry again and promised this time he would never leave Light.

Months passed, and Light didn't share a room with L again. They never found Kira because all deaths suddenly stopped.

L was supposed to be happy when the Kira case was over, but instead, it only made him cry.

Because instead of finally being with his Light-kun, when the case was declared over, L never saw Light again.

Light's last words to L was: "I guess we don't need to see each other."

* * *

><p><strong>***THE END***<strong>

(There's an Epilogue)


End file.
